Everyone says that you learn so much about each other and your habits and quirks and tendencies once you get married and that your “honeymoon” phase is wonderful as you try to work those things into starting your lives together. I guess that’s true in theory, but, in my opinion, it’s not like we started dating a month before we got married. I mean, I knew all of Morgan’s quirks and things that make her happy before I asked her to marry me. That’s why I asked her to marry me! But there are definitely some things that we have learned and solidified this year that we can share with you.
- My wife is amazing – I knew that girlfriend and fiancée Morgan were amazing, but now I know that wife Morgan is amazing. I love that we’re a year into our marriage now. It feels like that’s a big step. In order to be the couple at the end of the anniversary dance at weddings when the old couple has been together for 45 years or more, you have to have year one down first. I’ve learned that Morgan will make a great wife and mother in the future. She gets home, does her workouts, preps everything for dinner, unloads the dishwasher, and does whatever else needs to be done, all before I get home from the gym. I love that I have someone that gets things done and I’m truly appreciative of her sacrifices.
- We want to spend a couple of years together – we’ve been very fortunate to take some really good trips this year, and it’s not because of luck. We have really worked to be able to do this and we decided that we wanted to take a couple of years to travel and enjoy being married to each other before we dive into the kiddie pool (pun intended). There are lots of people that get married and announce they are pregnant four months later. People ask us all the time when we’re having kids. Let’s just say that every time we hang out with someone else’s kids, it solidifies why we’re waiting. We have some big plans for trips and want to take them before we have kids. Kids will be great, but once you have them, you have them. We talked about it and really decided that we were on the same page about that.
- Morgan’s signals – I will say that I think I’ve gotten a better handle on how to read some of Morgan’s signals. The biggest example that we run into is when we’re toward the end of the week of our meal plan that we’ve been following every day and she’ll say, “What’s for dinner?” I’ll say, “We’re having a quinoa toss up” and she’ll kind of sigh and say, “Oh… ok.” I now know that she doesn’t want that meal and would rather go out and do something. I have gotten much better at picking up when she wants to do something or doesn’t want to do something and I’ve been trying hard to accommodate those as best as possible.
- Avoid “hangriness” – we all get hungry from time to time and we all know how that makes us feel when we know we’re not near any source of food. Some people handle that differently than others. Some people get what we call “hangry,” which is hungry and angry. I’ve learned that it’s best for all of us to make sure we have a good set of backup snacks, especially if we’re going to be out and about for a long time. We both had some pretty big issues with this when we were in Italy for our honeymoon and had to spend lots of hours on trains, sometimes rushing to make a quick connection, and seeing no food on the train. That would leave us trapped for hours with no food, so we’ve learned from that experience. When someone is hangry, it does not lead to loving embraces and good conversation. Don’t worry, my backpack is full of granola bars and trail mix for our hikes in Hawaii.
- House hunting will teach you a lot about what you want – we’ve shared several posts with you about our house hunting struggles, but man, we didn’t think it would be like this. The market has changed in the four months that we’ve really been looking and it’s harder than it was at first. But after seeing a dozen houses or so in person, we’ve really learned what it is that each other wants and doesn’t want in a house. We thought we had an idea at the beginning, but once you get inside a house and see something, it may trigger a much bigger response than you previously thought it would. That’s why we know what is and isn’t a “deal breaker” to each of us now and we’re using that for the betterment of our search. Also, knowing what the other wants makes our relationship easier so that we can compromise and work things out together rather than buying a house that one person hates.
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